Hally7571.13

We were dancing and humming and laughing through the whole thing. My older brother Charles who was five was with Scott one of mom boyfriends and my twin sister Holly were gone. Charles was out at the movies Holly was at a friend’s house she would be home later tonight but now we wanted to spend time together before she came back. Sometimes when Mom was like this I thought I was her only daughter and that Hally didn’t look exactly like me so mom couldn’t even tell Who was Hally and who was Holly, who older by 3 minutes and 10 seconds, to even think about favoring one twin, but no. It just couldn’t be that way. Our personalities were opposite. Ignoring the neighbors knocking on the door we sang louder, Not even aware we were in danger. My cookies and milk already ready for Santa. Every now and then we stop to eat our own cookies and when we get up Mom tickles my stomach and we laugh and giggle together. Mom tickling me and I fall to the ground laughing until I feel like my sides will burst. “ Oh No! I forgot the surprise!” Then mom rushes to the back room grabs her red housecoat, which she bought especially for tonight and races out back to her daughter who’s waiting patiently. She comes out, puts on a Santa hat and a fake white mustache and pretends to be Santa holding her belly and saying “ho, ho, ho!” I laughed and pointed out, “Mommy Santa Clause is fat!” Mom was a thin person and a slim Santa didn’t look too good and any good kid could tell. Realizing her mistake Mom turned around and quickly stuffed some couch pillows down her housecoat and swung around “How about now?” she asked.
Putting on a show, she tramps around the living room in Dad’s old work boots a shameless and genuine smile spread wide across her face-something Mom rarely does anymore. She was trying to do the job of Mother and father. Since Dad was never home for Christmas, and back then so I was so young- it worked. Now when mom tries it I can tell if she tries to be like dad and I get angry. Why would she try to be like him? He was never here and it wasn’t worth it. I always wanted to block him out of my life. I knew what happened between her and dad no matter how much she tried to hide it. But like I said when your three you can’t tell the difference. So that night waiting for grandma and grandpa I hear a car and I happily rush to the curtains and with a sweep I pull them back hoping to see Grandma Jo and Grandpa Jim. I look out my breath steaming up the frosty window to a white world outside. The Christmas tree lights reflect on the window.